7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Own An iPhone

7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Own An iPhone


8 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Own An iPhone
If you are reading this, stop now. You have stumbled on to an iPhone website that has clearly lost its mind and is telling you reasons why you shouldn’t own the item that it so clearly is obsessed with. Up is down, black is white, left its right and right is wrong, the world has gone mad! Still, as you’re still here, let’s look at the 7 top reasons why you shouldn’t own an iPhone.

1. The Signal Is Terrible

The Signal Is Terrible

“What? Yeah, I’ll meet you by the Apple Store! By the Apple Store! By the App-! Yeah, the Apple Store, I’ve got to return my iPho-, what? I can’t hea-, no, I can’t hea-, I can’t hear you! F*%k it, I’ll just keep the damn thing!” If this conversation is reminiscient of any exchanges that you may have encountered due to the poor signal strength of the iPhone, you have our sympathy. In some parts of the country, you’d be better with a carrier pigeon.

2. Everybody In The World Has An iPhone And It’s Newer Than Yours!

iphone god

“OMG, have you seen my new – oh, you’ve already got one. And it’s a newer model. How come, I got mine yesterday?!” iPhones are so prevalent in today’s society that it would be more cool and alternative to have an old Nokia; plus, they are so quickly outdated that you might as well save up for the iPhone 2000.

3. iPhones ALWAYS Crash

Why make app games that are so damn addictive if the screen just crashes on the final level?!!!

4. Android Is Soooo Much Cheaper Than iPhone

By the time you’ve bought the latest model, insured it and kitted it out with the latest accessories, not to mention getting a premium payment plan so that you can let all of your friends know just how cool you are via text, calls and WAP, you could have bought approximately 6 billion Android phones. And they’re pretty similar anyway.

5. The Insurance Excess On An iPhone is $1,000,000


Or something like that.

6. If You Have A PC, installing iTunes Is A Pain In The Ass

Mac vs pc itunes

Ok, so you’ve bitten the bullet and decided to venture over to Apple for all of your mobile needs; however, you’re sticking with your trusty PC, after all, when’s it ever let you down? No worries, but to run an iPhone on it, you have to install iTunes. Yep, no more playing your music through Windows Media Player, it’s iTunes or nothing for you Mister, and guess what? You’re gonna lose that Tori Amos B-side collection in the switch. (Solution: Get a Mac, loser.)

7. There’s No Flash Support On An iPhone

Oh, this one really takes the biscuit. According to Apple, “the mobile era is about low power devices, touch interfaces and open web standards — all areas where Flash falls short.” Thus, your iPhone and iPad will not show flashing animated banners on any website in Safari, nor will it play the embedded videos on sites like YouTube or Facebook without jumping to the site’s app, which is a royal pain. Ironically, iPhoneAppCafe’s flash advert banners can’t be viewed on iPhones. Sometimes Steve Jobs, just sometimes, you can get a bit too big for your boots!

If you made the grave mistake of already buying an iPhone and are really ticked off with it, check out 10 Most Annoying iPhone Problems (And How To Solve Them!)

If, for some unknown reason, you are really into your iPhone, you may want to look at 10 Warning Signs That You Are Addicted To Your iPhone. May God help you.


  1. What kills me about idiot phone posers is they want to show off their new toy worth hundreds of bucks, but they encase in in some cheesy sparkely rubber case that cost all of two bucks and looks way, way tacky.

  2. This is stupid as hell. I bought an iPhone, signal is great, its only a pain in the ass to install on a pc if you’re a retard and have no computer knowledge what so ever. It has never crashed, ever. Only legit thing about this article is the no flash support, which I admit does suck. Also, you forgot #5, dumbass.

  3. ok so those were the most pathetic 8 reasons why i shouldnt own an iphone. Mainly because since ive owned an iphone since they came out, i can say that the signal “problem” is non-existent, if god has an iphone, would that not make it MORE of a reason to own one? Id think if its good enough for god, it must be pretty good… so way to contradict your statement with that one. Never once have any of mine “crashed” and trust me, i use it all day everyday, so if any iphone should “crash” it should be mine. Insurance excess? whatever point your trying to make u obviously dont even know either. Dont get an iphone if u own a PC, or get rid of your piece of shit PC and get a Mac or better yet, learn how to use a computer because if you seem to have problems getting itunes on your PC, you must be slightly retarded because it is LITERALLY as easy as clicking your mouse to download itunes. Wow, when a phone comes out that is a thousand times better than any other phone, of course people like you still strive to point out miniscule things, like u expect the phone to be perfect. no flash on earlier models? dont take pictures in the dark dumbass! Of course android is cheaper, piece of shit operating systems better be cheaper.
    The reasons to own an iphone outweigh the reasons not to by far, and obviously, whether you like it or not, iphone will continue to grow and stupid people like you will continue to hate on it because you have nothing better to do. The best part is that you can continue to make stupid web pages like this, but no matter what you do, people will still buy iphones and you will just waste your time. so heres a suggestion. Get out of your office chair, and start standing in the middle of the freeway with a picket sign that says “NO TO IPHONE”, because it might actually achieve your goal better than this, but most likely it will just make you realize that you suck at life and are probably just hating on iphone because you cant afford one. Get a better job, problem solved.

  4. Dear Jasta,

    Thank you for your feedback on the article. As the editor of an iPhone website, it’s important for me to understand what my readers want and what they don’t. I think that it’s great that you’ve taken this list so literally and are so impassioned about the importance of the iPhone that you have taken the time out of your job(?) to write at such great length about why the iPhone is so fantastic. This is very encouraging for us at iPhoneAppCafe, as it shows that our readers are as passionate about iPhones as we are. If I ever need a feature written on installing iTunes “LITERALLY as easy as clicking your mouse”, theology and the iPhone, “if god has an iphone, would that not make it MORE of a reason to own one?” or simply good life advice, “Get out of your office chair, and start standing in the middle of the freeway…you suck at life and are probably just hating on iphone because you cant afford one”, I know who to come to.

    (BTW, I’m not actually sure if you read all of the words in the article or were distracted by the pictures, but for the iTunes/PC point I actually wrote, “Solution: Get a Mac, loser” and the ‘No Flash’ point was not to do with the camera, but the fact that, “iPhone and iPad will not show flashing animated banners on any website in Safari”. Just thought I’d point this out, I wouldn’t want you to be accused of being one of the “stupid people” like me.)

    Yours forever,

    David Harfield



  5. As much as I like playing with iPhones, this article sums up why I’d never fork out money I’ve worked hard to earn, for one.
    Especially #2.

  6. THer is only one reason not to own an iphone…it’s and Apple product. Apple makes MS look like an Open source company. there is just something about Steve Jobs tightly clenching my grapes and telling my what I can do or buy on a product I bought from Apple that smacks of Orwell’s 1984. all the way down to the Apple “newspeak”

  7. This article is way off, the only one of those seven that applies to iphones more than androids is fact that the ios won’t run flash.

  8. If I forget to lock my screen on my iPhone 4s and lay my phone face down the screen gets so big that I can’t unlock it. What do I do?


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