If you own an iPhone, you’ve already proven that you are pretty smart; if, however, you are in the shallow end of the brain pool, then you might want to check these five iPhone Apps that seem to be designed for idiots! Now, we don’t want to be prejudiced here, however, how dumb do you have to be to spend a thousand dollars on an app that does absolutely nothing?! Check out the list and see if these apps are worth you parting with your hard-earned cash.
1. iNap@Work – $0.99, Updated: May 18, 2009, Current Version: 1.0.3, Seller: Alvin Wong
Even idiots sometimes get jobs, but when they do it seems like the idea of work is too much for them and they need to fall asleep at their desk to cope with the daily routine. Well, they can now do it uninterrupted as iNap@Work will emit miscellaneous office noises such as mouse clicks, keyboard typing and paper shuffling, with the odd cough thrown in for good measure, to cover up the sound of their snores. Users can adjust the frequency between a light and hectic workday, according to their daily regime. Incredible.
2. Places I’ve Pooped – $0.99, Released: Feb 09, 2011, Version: 1.0, Seller: Michael Judge
We all need to go to the bathroom every day, but only the truly stupid of us want to document exactly when and where we are when we do the dirty deed. Places I’ve Pooped allows users to record where they do their business all over the world and keep a diary of their experiences; they can share this with other poopers and generally enjoy their obsession with their own bowel movements. The fact that people pay for this app shakes my faith in humanity.
3. FatBurner2k – $0.99, Released June 30 2009 Version 1.0, Daily Burn
With the proliferation of slim-fast, overnight success story diets, it’s no wonder that an app developer capitalised on the modern obsession with being stick thin while not doing a thing to merit it. FatBurner 2k promises to, “help your body consume fat molecules using disharmonic, molecule to molecule, physical oscillations”; essentially what it does is lie on your stomach and vibrate. Obviously this was released as a joke, but what really worries me is the amount of people who have bought it out of sheer stupidity and have posted negative comments about it…
4. Hair Clinic: For Man and Woman – $3.99, Released Jul 23rd, 2009, Version, 1.0 Developer: Sociag Project
Anybody who thinks that heir iPhone can help them grow their hair back deserves to be bald. Hair Clinic promises to encourage the growth of hair molecules through emitting inaudible high and low frequencies around your head; essentially, you stand there holding your iPhone to your head until it starts to hurt or you realize how dumb you are, whichever comes first. Take my advice, save your four dollars and go and buy a wig.
5. I Am Rich -$999.99, Updated August 6, 2008, Version 1.0
Saving the best until last, the I Am Rich App has now been removed from the App Store after a wave of complaints from dissatisfied customers. They were probably dissatisfied due to the fact that the app cost a thousand dollars and did nothing other than show a glowing red jewel and recite a mantra that you are to show to others: “I am rich, I deserve it, I am good, healthy &successful.” Understandably, the App Developer is hesitant at revealing his real name, but it can be safely assumed that he is the only one who can really say the name of the app and mean it.