10 iPhone Apps That Could Replace Your Girlfriend

10 iPhone Apps That Could Replace Your Girlfriend

By Julian -
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Virtual Girlfriend

When you first held your iPhone in your hands you were sure that this was the single best use that you had ever found for money. You wanted to have it with you all the time, you wanted to be alone with it and you wanted to tell everyone about how fantastic it was. It just might be that your iPhone is the love of your life. Here are 10 iPhone apps that can allow your little friend to be all that – and more.

10. Teaches you to cook: Allrecipes.com Dinner Spinner, Free

Learning to cook? Shouldn’t it be your girlfriend cooking for you? No, of course not! Just like a real girlfriend, this app will have you cooking tasty dishes in no time. The dinner spinner lets you narrow down what you want, choosing from thousands of recipes and selecting your meal by ingredient, cooking type or cuisine, to ensure you end up with the perfect dish.

9. Takes you to the movies: Movies by Flixster, Free

Want to watch another goofy rom-com? Of course you don’t. This slick tool will take you to the movies to see the film of your choice. And your iPhone will love it! This app will bring up show times and tickets, show you where the movie you’re looking for is on and will allow direct iTunes downloads – as well as hosting an extensive catalog of titles and links to Rotten Tomatoes to let you know if the movie’s going to stink. if this were a date, it would be like going out with the Golden Globes.

8. Reads to you: Audiobooks, Free

Whether you want to fall asleep to Moby Dick or charge down the interstate listening to Harry Potter, Audiobooks means you need never be alone. The app allows you to access 3,500 classic audiobooks for free – while there are countless more recent premium entries for you to download and enjoy.

7. Reads the map: Tom Tom US & Canada $49.99

No longer will you need someone to read a map to tell you where you’re going. While this nifty number might be decidedly on the experienced side, it’s a top of the range route finder which will ensure that you get to your destination happily. Rather than relying on Google Maps, it comes with its own mapping system, tells you when to turn and what lane to use, and formulates the ideal route based on time, traffic and fuel efficiency. Better than a human…

6. Remembers birthdays: Pocket Informant $12.99

With this app you can remember occasions, birthdays and events in deluxe style. You can tie events to locations, you can keep multiple calendars and you can keep a running tally of notifications. This is a more complete system of reminders than a girlfriend could ever give you.

5. Tells you if you’re drunk: BACC: Blood Alcohol Concentration Calculator (WebApp)

If you’ve had a couple of drinks, it can be hard to tell just how drunk you are without some concerned help. Here’s the DIY fix – the Blood Alcohol Concentration Calculator, which can estimate just how tipsy you might be. Time to quit drinking – the BACC can tell.

4. Introduces you to new people: BrightKite, Free


If you need someone to drag new and exciting people into your life, then you can always try BrightKite, a location based social media app that can identify other people in you vicinity who have similar interests to you. Social media 1, human companions 0.

3. Watches what you’re eating: Fast Food Calorie Counter $0.59


Without the attention of the fairer sex, you might find yourself losing track of your diet. Fear not, for your iPhone is to hand to count the calories so you know exactly what’s going into you. No excuse for developing a tummy now!

2. Finds your car keys: General Motors Car Key App

Can’t find your keys? With this app you won’t need them, because, guess what, you’re iPhone replaces them. That’s what we call convergence. If you own a Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick or a GMC, you can not only unlock your doors but also remotely start the engine and sound the horn and lights. Unless your partner is willing to hide in your car and start the engine on command, this is going one better than a girlfriend by letting you pretend to be James Bond. The only shortcoming is that while its release is imminent, it isn’t out yet.

1. The Simulated Girlfriend experience: My Virtual Girlfriend $0.99, Virtual Girlfriend $0.99

So you’re not content with your iPhone replicating all those basic applications of the human girlfriend? Then you may want the full, simulated girlfriend experience. This app comes in several shapes and sizes. There’s the My Virtual Girl app, illustrated above and top – where you can try your hand at dating girls tailored to your personal preferences.

Then there’s the Porshe of simulated girlfriends – the Virtual Girlfriend herself, illustrated above. You can either select her appearance from a face library or upload a photo of your own ideal girlfriend. She listens to you, she talks to you and you can decide what she says. What’s more she’s interactive – as the blurb says: “Shake her. Touch her.” And she only costs $0.99.

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15 COMMENTS

  1. Funny list!
    I have to disagree with #7 though. My real GF is terrible at directions.
    I have to agree with #1 – my virtual girlfriend for iphone- fun game.

  2. That is so retarded and if those r the 10 things u need to replace ur girlfriend then maybe u should reevaluate yourself. Those should b 10 reasons y she dumps u…..

  3. They have a virtual boyfriend app as well, so she can easily replace you too. Who needs a man anyway, most are pathetic creatures who are at times more fickle than the majority of the chicks I know. With chivalry dead what is the point. Enjoy your apps, because if that is all you want, then that is what you’ll get.

  6. Blair, you are touchy , just like jewberries said. I bet your bull dike excuse for a boyfriend is just like the rest of us here……tired of your manhating b!tchy whining.

  7. The #1 complaint from women who downloaded the boyfriend app… it is too busy doing things with other apps to do anything with them. #2 complaint… it doesn’t ask them about their feelings. #3 complaint… its only response is “Uh huh” or “I don’t care, whatever you think”. So far, the number of complaints from women have overburdened the boyfriend app server to the point where it just gave up.

  8. That’s so offensive! Does that mean we can replace family too?! REAL people RULE and always will. Rant over.

  9. Have we truly sunk this low? You don’t need another person in your life, just cold unfeeling circuits- AND MONEY! I bet there are so many good people, hiding from the other good people behind a screen, instead of living.

  11. Umm..this shoudl be called “How to loose a girfriend with One App and the 9 you can use to replace her!” that virtual girfriend app looks like someone looking for trouble to me.

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